They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Carl W. Buechner.
I started with a quote because words have power.
Whether talking to others or yourself, words will affect people because of the associations that may have a deeper meaning. The word becomes an internal picture which in turn then becomes an idea (good or bad) which can become a limiting belief and in turn will then effect behaviour. Words can facilitate or hinder abilities.
But of all the people you interact with on a daily basis, the most important person you will talk to is yourself!
Psychologists and neuroscientists have established that we maintain an ongoing internal dialogue of around 150-300 words per minute. This works out at around 45000-51000 words a day! The majority of this talk is around daily mundane things such as “what shall I eat tonight? I wonder what the weather is going to be like or what’s on TV later?” But when it becomes a more serious ongoing self-chat to the effect of, “I am useless; I’ll never be able to do it; I always mess this up” that it becomes a problem. Because unless the cycle gets broken, it gets reinforced and as mentioned before, it can result in the creation of a limiting belief when talking with others too.
More research has shown that the ratio of positive to negative comments should be 5:1 for a relationship to have longevity and be a healthy one. With that in mind, it is important not to let people speak to you badly, more importantly not to speak to yourself badly!
If truth be told, I’m not unrealistic in thinking that we will all take this on board and always be nice to ourselves because stuff happens and at times; our thoughts control us rather then us controlling them. But by being very self aware of the fact that our self talk will help us respond better in certain situations means it’s important to take charge when we need to.
Never be afraid to challenge yourself if you don’t like what you’re saying.
You can change the way you perform at work, in your sport, even your life by the the way you communicate with yourself.
It can take time, but the more you work at something, the easier it will become. The massive impact of changing even one negative into a positive can completely change your outlook.
Something so simple as talking nicely, productively and positively can change your mindset. Situations can change for the better; relationships (including one with yourself) will improve.
You are the most important person in your life, talk to yourself like you would to any other human being!